e m o t i o n s

The solitary piece of coal

2012-01-28T22:10:00.000-08:00

Daniel always used to attend the Sunday service at his church, but he began to feel that the priest was always saying the same thing, and so stopped going.

Two months later, one cold winter night, the priest came to visit him.

'He's probably come to try and persuade me to go back,' Daniel thought to himself. He felt that he couldn't give the real reason for his absence - the priest's repetitive sermons. He needed to find an excuse and, while he was thinking, he placed two chairs and started talking about the weather.

The priest said nothing. After trying in vain for some time to start a conversation, Daniel gave up. The two men sat on in silence for nearly half an hour, staring into the fire.

At that point, the priest got up and, with on of the logs that had not yet burned, he pushed one pieve of coal away from the flames.

Since there was not enough heat for the coal to continue burning, it began to cool. Daniel quickly drew it back into the centre of the fire.

'Good night,' said the priest, getting up to leave.

'Good night, and thank you very much,' replied Daniel. 'However brightly a piece of coal may be burning, it will soon burn out if you remove it from the flames. However intelligent a man may be, he will soon lose his warmth and his flame if he distances himself from his fellow man. I'll see you at church next Sunday.'

How one thing can contain everything

2012-01-26T01:20:00.000-08:00

A meeting in the house of a Sao Paulo-born painter based in New York. We are talking about angels, and about alchemy. At one point, I try to explain to the other guests the alchemical idea that each of us contains the whole universe and that we are, therefore, responsible for its well-being. I struggle to find the right words, but cannot come up with a good image that will explain my point of view.
The painter, who has been listening in silence, asks everyone to look out of the window of his studio.
'What can you see?' he asks.
'A street in Greenwich Village,' someone replies.
The painter sticks a piece of paper over the window so that the street can no longer be seen;then, with a penknife, he cuts a small square in the paper.
'And if someone were to look through there, what would he see?'
'The same street,' comes the reply.
The painter cuts several squares in the paper.
'Just as each of these holes contains within it the whole view of the same street, so each of us contains in our soul the same universe,' he says.
And all of us applaud the lovely image he has found.

Now you do

2012-01-07T08:37:00.000-08:00

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
Baby now you do

A little too fast, a little too hard

2012-01-02T07:42:00.000-08:00

After this few days, my perception of the world has totally changed. Maybe I've been living in my own bubble all this while and being ignorant of the dangerous and unpredictable reality of my surrounding world. Life, indeed, work in its own mysterious ways.

There are times when everything seems so perfect and beautiful, but some invisible force seems to make them vanish overnight into a worthless pile of ash. Maybe I think a little too much, maybe I was hoping for a little more than I should. Oh wells, no point sulking over it now. What's done is done.

Now is the time to set my priorities right, to set my goals right and to rethink what really is the purpose of existence in this physical realm. Life, is a dream.

As above, so below. As within, so without.

Driving me crazy

2011-12-20T07:02:00.000-08:00

Its been a really long time since someone last got me so dazzled and enchanted, I am so totally mesmerized by you for the past 2 weeks that I can barely recall one of my worst weeks rushing projects in office. Oh my oh my, its all happening once again =) if only you can see me grinning like how a cute cuddly cat will grin =D

Haha, after some intense thinking and consideration for the past few nights, I've decided to pursue this crazy dream of mine now and to try make it a reality in the foreseeable future. Its not going to be easy, nothing in life is anyway. One thing is for sure, I am not giving up until I have my dream fulfilled!

OH and before I forget, an early MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone!! Have a great holiday season this year, go indulge yourself with some shopping and great food. =P

p.s. Its so hard trying not to think about you =)

My love

2011-11-28T08:30:00.001-08:00

When I look up from my pillow, I always dream you are there with me. Although you are far away from here, I know you'll always be near to me. I go to sleep and I imagine that you're there with me all the time.

I look around me and I feel you are ever so close to me, each tear that flows from my eye brings back memories of you to me. I was wrong, I will cry and I will love you till the day I die. You were all that I have, you alone and no one else because you were meant for me.

When morning comes again, I have the loneliness you left me. Each day drags by until finally my time descends on me. I go to sleep and imagine that you're there with me.

I go to sleep and imagine that you're there with me...

the dark abyss

2011-11-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

As I walk down the empty park, I notice a slight breeze whistling through the trees, making them sway in unison and shed a floating cloud of decaying leaves. With dry twigs snapping noisily with every step I take, I make my way to the nearest bench in total silence.

After staring for few minutes at the patch of grass in front of me, I close my eyes and shut my thoughts from the buzzing crickets in the bush. Ahhhh... I feel myself relaxing with every exhaling breath, my heartbeat slowed and soon my mind wanders off into a drowning pool of emotions.

In my alternate reality, that pool seems to be getting colder and colder with every passing second. I submerge myself deeper into the black pool and soon, I am staring into an unending depth of dark muddy water. Out of nowhere, a pale hand grab me suddenly and drag me down, down into the never ending abyss of dark emotions....

I find myself slipping away, never again to return to my body that is waiting patiently back on the bench in the park, drowning in an expanding pool of tears...

the compassionate dismantler manifesto

2011-11-01T00:24:00.000-07:00

We, the Compassionate Dismantlers, hold five truths to be self-evident.

1. To understand the nature of a thing it must be taken apart.

2. We oppose technology, hierarchy, rules and laws, and all forms of government.

3. The universe was created in chaos, and the only true creative force is chaos.

4. Dismantlement is an act of compassion as well as an act of revolution.

5. Dismantlement = Freedom.

When I look at you

2011-10-21T06:21:00.000-07:00

When I talk to you, I hear forgiveness, I hear the truth. You love me for who I am, like how the stars hold the moon right there where they belong, and I know I am not alone.

When my world is falling apart, when there's no light to break up the dark, that's when I look at you.

Lately I've been...

2011-10-14T01:17:00.000-07:00

Nothing is what it seems to be lately. Joy turns out to be pain, pain turns out to be love. The mysteries of life, or whatever they want us to believe anyway. Is there a way out of all these nonsense and confusion? Maybe that crystal ball will be of some help now. Oh my dear little vikings, help me...

A relationship is like a rose,

How long it lasts, no one knows;

Love can erase an awful past,

Love can be yours, you'll see at last;

To feel that love, it makes you sigh,

To have it leave, you'd rather die;

You hope you've found that special rose,

Cause you love and care for the one you chose.

Rob Cella

Rapuh

2011-10-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

Belum sempat ku membagi kebahagiaanku, belum sempat ku membuat dia tersenyum. Haruskah ku kehilanganmu sekali lagi? Tuhan ku mohon jangan lakukan itu.

Sebab ku sayang dia, sebab ku kasihi dia, sebab ku tak rela tak selalu bersama.

Ku rapuh tanpa dia, seperti kehilangan harap. Jikalau memang harus ku alami duka, ku kuatkan hati ini menerimanya.

It's supposed to be easy

2011-09-17T00:36:00.000-07:00

Those dark dreams of yours, your drowning eyes and that sad mouth of yours, they are filling up with lies. Don't believe them my love, when they're telling you that you're not enough. Don't ever believe them because you will not know. You're everything you were ever supposed to be, don't you see?

Demons, bells and acrobats, welcome to the circus inside your mind. I know all the world is heavy, its another catastrophe with every shrug of your shoulder. But you don't have to carry it anymore, it's time you let it go.

Just let it go my love, let it go. Because you're perfect just the way you are.

the past: a reflection

2011-09-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hands on the steering wheel, Lionel Richie on the stereo, windows fully down. I drive through the silent night feeling the midnight breeze sailing past my face, a violent shiver course through my body, and I feel my lonely soul going slowly with the winds.

Life is slow and agonising, like a bad play being repeated again and again on stage. People that pass through our lives, they are faceless actors that grace the streets when the bells struck midnight, spreading fear and despair that rots like corpses in mass graves.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, Macbeth

Vibrato

2011-09-11T02:23:00.001-07:00

Drowned, in a heightened ecstasy of pleasure. Fingers dancing across the keyboard, flying and soaring according to tempo. Ahhh, the blissful sunday evenings with my baby grand. In the distance I heard the piercing strokes of intense concerto, blending flawlessly with mine. Must be my neighbour practicing her violin.

Sitting on the bench beside the window, a steaming pot of tea and hot crumbling scones awaits me. I stopped dead with a seventh chord, swirling through a series of appegios before toning down to a stop. Its really hard to describe how I feel now, venting out emotions through my piano, simply just satisfying.

I wonder if you can hear my troubled tunes from there?

Bring it back

2011-09-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

Love of my life, please don't leave me. You've stolen my love and now you decide to desert me. Oh love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, please bring it back. Don't take it away from me, because you don't know what it means to me.

You will remember when this is blown over, and everything's all by the way. When I grow older, I will be there at your side to remind you. To remind you how I still love you. . .

Within my heart

2011-09-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

You. I see you turning and swirling around in circles, autumn leaves are falling all around you, crunching into tiny bits under your delicate feet. Colours colours everywhere, joy is radiating from your face like rainbow sunrays. Ahh... life is so good when we are playing hide and seek, but I hope you'll find me soon, before I drown in your smile...

I want you to believe in life

2011-09-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

You. My heart is yearning for you, just lift me up and don't make a sound. I wish you could let me hold you up before you hit the ground. You say you are all right, but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away. Will you ever find out who you are before its too late to change?

For the first time

2011-08-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

You. The way you curl your lips into a shy smile, it always caught me unprepared, always so captivating and moving. The way your eyes twinkles when you speak, they show emotions and passion. You have a soothing voice, a voice that is the symphony of winds that traverse through the universe. Just, you.

Mungkinkah ku dapat mengharungi gelora jiwaku ini? Ku akan cuba sedaya upaya... Tetapi akhirnya, hanya Tuhan yang boleh menentukan kisah hidupku ini...

catching teardrops in my hands

2011-08-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

Its hard to describe why you miss that special someone so much. But its even harder when she doesn't know about it. Hmmmpphhhh.....

I want my pillow now =o

It doesn't matter if I call you girly names

2011-08-13T06:29:00.000-07:00

Its really fascinating how a few spoken words from you kept me mesmerised for days, even weeks. What is really happening? I wish I can just speak my heart out, this silence is getting unbearable!!! All the late night thinking, in-between-work thinking, lunchtime thinking.

Maybe I should start blogging about it to release some tension. Oh wait. I am indeed blogging about her.

Excellent. =)

that very last time

2011-07-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

Its so gentle, so soothing, and yet its so cold. Staring ahead with my arms wide open, I let the water and sand seep in between my curling toes. That breeze, that same breeze that stroked our hearts before, is stroking nothing but inner misery.

In between the lapping of waves, a distant symphony is churning from the depths beyond. A symphony that strings together the melody of Gods, a symphony that echos within my hollow core. A perfect harmony from the heavens, I feel myself letting go.

One step. Two steps. Three steps. I couldn't resist, couldn't resist the temptation of the waves. That wild and throbbing embrace that surrounds me like a womb, luring my very existance into the inky black darkness. Its an end, a promise of eternal freedom.

Choking. Drowning. Dying. In the final moments of my life, there is an eerie calm in me. Buried beneath the waves, I hear you sang your lovely lullaby, and I saw your sweetest smile for the very last time...

If only you knew

2011-07-04T07:15:00.000-07:00

Through the trees,

I will find you,

I will heal the ruins inside you,

cuz I'm still here breathing now,

I'm still here breathing now,

Until I am set free.

Go quiet through the trees.

I don't want to let you down

2011-06-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

There are times when you wake up feeling all tired and miserable, lonely, and desperately wanting company and attention. And yet after some toast and coffee, you felt like you own the world!! THIS my friend, is the swaying world of emotions.

Life moves on, it doesn't matter if your heart is broken, or that your soul is lost to the devil forever. You either survive, or you simply don't. Its a matter of choice, really. Because you are your own world, everything around you are just items to be manipulated, items to be used to create the world you want.

So guess what my little vikings, I am back!!!! Back into the life i left behind years ago, ready to conquer new horizons and win back some territory like some real vikings! LIFE IS AWESOME

" you would never ask me why my heart is so disguised, I just can never lie anymore "

kini kau pergi

2011-06-09T08:15:00.001-07:00

Tenggelam dalam fikiran, ku teringat pada wajahmu. Hatiku yang sarat dengan beban ini, ku tetap simpan sebagai bukti cintamu. Kau tanya mengapa?

Hanya, kerana ku sanggup....

the day when sheeps fly

2011-05-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

When I looked back, it seems impossible that it happened at all. No reasonable explanations can be found, for what happened that day is totally bizarre. A browse through the Books of Life turns out nothing, does that mean its otherworldly?

Possible, but I am not buying that. There must be a reason for everything that happened. Maybe I should just dig deeper, if I am meant to find out the truth at all. Oh well, guess I'll have to sit back and watch sheeps fly.

another day

2011-05-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Days like today just makes me want to curl up in a ball with blankets wrapped around me, I cannot seem to get warm, no matter the amount of jackets I put on nor the cups of tea I drank. This isn't caused by the weather, of that I am sure.

I think I'll need your embrace to ever stay warm again. Oh hun. . .

until we bleed

2011-05-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

A wake up call. That's what it is. I knew for a long time that something like this will happen, sooner or later. Its a reminder of how bad things can go, even when everything looks nice and cosy.

You once said that nothing in this world happens by chance, and when it does, it must be be God's gift. A divine coincidence. I believed that, and I still do too. But sometimes coincidence is overrated, because in the end, it takes sheer determination to realise our dreams.

I asked myself the same question everynight before I sleep, and I say the same prayers everynight too.

And here I am, hoping against hope that my prayers will be answered. God is great.

The universe, me and you.

2011-05-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight you remind me that there are still things in this world worth dying for. You show me the reason to keep on believing, to believe that there will be a better tomorrow in this otherwise chaotic world.

You are the beacon of light among the suffocating darkness, shining on me, guiding me through the darkest part of my life and telling me that everything is going to be alright. Without you, I am nothing. Without you, I am lost.

When the rain

Is blowing in your face

And the whole world

Is in your case

I could offer you

A warm embrace

To make you feel my love

I love you darlyn...

beautifully bittersweet

2011-05-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

Looking out the window, drops of morning dew are forming, blurring the outside world into burst of sparkles and colours. The kettle is hissing somewhere in the kitchen, oh forget it, it'll stop in awhile.

Walking back to my bed, I realise something is really different today. I can't figure out why, until I saw that delicate oak photo frame beside my bed. That delicate face, framed by locks of jet black hair, and those eyes. Those beautiful eyes that mesmerized me since the first day I lay my eyes on them.

Sitting at the edge of my bed, I pick up that photo frame and hold it close to my chest. I can feel her heartbeat through my sweatshirt, that faint steady heartbeat that accompany me to my dreams everynight. Feeling it now brought fresh tears to my swollen eyes, I fought hard to keep them there.

I cry, like a baby begging to be fed, to be fed by your love. I can't stop, I don't want to stop. The hot stream of tears brings comfort to my heart, a few more sobs and I lay down in exhaustion. All this while feeling your heartbeat against mine.

I fall into a deep slumber. In my dreams, I see a girl with that same delicate face, that same jet black hair, and those beautiful eyes that I came to love.

The only difference this time? Its no photo frame. And I can feel her heartbeat, beating in perfect harmony with mine...

none but the lonely hearts

2011-05-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

The pain. The sufferings. The daily streams of tears. Nothing is easy being in this situation, with the realities of life bombarding me from all directions, its easier to just hide and run.

The sound of hooves down the cobblestone pathway, the smells and sights of the vast estate around me. The beauty of my surroundings betrayed my heart's sorrows. The very thought of you is too hard to bear.

I ran out through the heavy oak doorway, into the flower beds that is blooming in its summer glory. Oh Lord, what has become of me? Have I lost my mind? Am I hallucinating? Lord have mercy!!

I can't believe, I don't want to believe. And shush. . . let it be. Life is no fairytale.

hearing voices

2011-05-05T07:36:00.001-07:00

Confuse. Thats the only word to describe how I feel now. Life? Work? Love? Weather? Oh don't ask me, cause I really have no idea whats happening at the moment.

Life is a blur swirl of colours and noise lately. Wierd.

our fairy tale

2011-04-30T03:35:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time. We will wait patiently for each other. Few hours, few days, few weeks, even a few months. It doesn't matter, because the moment we hear from each other, we know its worth everything. We know each other's heart and mind like the back of our hands, and we memorize them and make it as part of our life.

There is one time you told me that you crave for green mangoes, and i find it really wierd and funny. I still do, because you are the only one in this whole wide world i know that loves it.

Everytime we talk, I can almost feel your tears when you cry, see you frowning when you disapprove, hear your laughter when we joke, and see you scrunch that cute little nose of yours when you are about to sneeze. It felt so real, because it is.

All that happened once upon a time. And to tell you the truth, i can't wait for the forever after part of our lives together. I love you.

blinded by love

2011-04-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

I came home and nothing was right, its been awhile since there's been a fight. Well, maybe tonight my need for love can blind my sight.

Help me to see, 'Cause I am blinded by love. And help me to be the one to guide us through the dark things we do.

Oh, I dunno what possibly changed. We were so good, so good. And where is the light at the end of this tunnel? 'Cause I am falling apart and I am breaking your heart.

antara kau dan aku

2011-04-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

Love is a curious thing. It happens everywhere around us, be it with your parents, your beloved boyfriend or even your fluffy pet cat. Love is wonderful from all perspectives, it fills your heart with guilty pleasures.

There is nothing wrong in the way we love. Because, love is always right when you are in love.

an evening drive

2011-04-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

Driving alone on the highway, feeling the car's soul through my fingers while watching the world around me melting away into blur streaks, I find myself drifting into another dimension in life. A dimension where I am in control, a dimension where I have the world to myself.

The evening sun splashes the skies with hues of red and purple, yet my heart is enveloped in a cocoon of grey misery. Every thought of you is a journey of emotions, desiring you makes my heart weeps.

As dusk fades away, the heavy darkness is broken by millions of blinking stars. So pure. So beautiful. So magical. Is this how our love looks like in the heavens above?

I don't think I'll ever know. And I just miss you so much. All I could do is to blink those tears away and keep driving until I found my destination.

Life and love. Two of the greatest mysteries of time.

my side of the world

2011-04-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

The air was clear, and the clouds piled high above the mountains were just beginning to be glossed with pink and gold rays from the late evening sun. And I knew suddenly that without taking a step or counting a second, I had yet reached some other world, that co-existed with my own . . .

I miss you dearly.

life is a bucket of wet socks

2011-04-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

There are times when you want to just get all cosy and listen to raindrops. Emo.

la percepción

2011-04-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

Perception becomes a language . . . The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened.

Thomas Wedgwood: Essay on Vision.

Just a thought

2011-03-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

Curious. I woke up today with a thought in mind, a thought so mysterious and beautiful i can't help but smile and chuckle in bed. Going through my usual morning routine of dressing up and shoe polishing, my mind wanders among the drifting smell of breakfast and coffee, and yet all i can recall thinking is that beautiful thought.

Reaching the office and striding fast towards my workstation, i realise someone scribbled something on my Tack-It that is stuck to my screen, its the word "thought". Again?? Why is someone taking so much trouble to remind me of the curious little thought i had in the morning?

Day turns to night surprisingly fast today, thanks to that beautiful little thought that kept hooking onto my braincells like some hungry piranha. Its getting quite annoying actually, but i wasn't complaining because its a beautiful thought after all.

Reaching home, i had this sudden urge to visit my blog page, and thats it!! I realise who is doing this to me all day. I know who is planting those thoughts in my mind and distracting me. I smiled, because the answer is so obvious from the start.

And what's that thought? Its just someone far away from home that i missed dearly, someone who touched my heart like no one else. I miss and love you dear!

die gesetze der natur

2011-03-28T06:36:00.000-07:00

The laws of nature. you will never get away with it.

all about your heart

2011-03-26T03:36:00.000-07:00

Faith or ignorance? Both are deeply connected and entwined in our life. How will you know that its faith or just pure ignorance when signs started to show?

The answer is, you do. You know its faith and love that kept you going all this while when you do it from the bottom of your heart, You know its faith and love when you think of them every night before you sleep.

I know mine is Faith. What's yours?

of stars and tender hearts

2011-03-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Some people pass through your life and you never think about them again. Some you think about and wonder what ever happened to them. Some you wonder if they ever wonder what happened to you.

And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

ps: the key to my heart is in your hands...

to make you feel my love

2011-03-12T07:12:00.000-08:00

I know you haven't made your mind up yet

But I would never do you wrong

I've known from the moment that we met

No doubt in my mind where you belong

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

bila rasaku ini rasamu

2011-03-11T10:04:00.000-08:00

" takkan pernah habis, air mataku

bila kuingat tentang dirimu "

my heart is like meatballs

2011-03-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

I roll,

I jump.

I hiss,

I lick.

I backflip,

I yawn.

I am a kitty. Thats my life.

ps: i hope we'll talk soon

An empty hollow

2011-03-01T00:11:00.000-08:00

When it seems that all hope is lost, you appeared out of nowhere to salvage my heart. You mend it, nursed it back to health and gave it a dose of love and kindness. When nights are long and quiet, you'll be there to cheer me up, tickled me to laughter with your words and humour.

As memories faded, so does you. Fading into a mysterious blur of reality and fantasy.

How I wish you are here right now because, I don't know how much longer I can hang on.

miss kitty's special day

2011-02-25T01:04:00.000-08:00

After today, I'll be all alone in the below 20 category among us. HAHAH

But anyways....With love, hope and best of wishes,

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY LISA!!!

your empty seat

2011-02-19T08:54:00.001-08:00

Time.

Time is the essence of all things; from life to death, from body to soul.

Time is the ultimatum in life, the ultimatum of things to come and things that went with the winds. Life is nothing but time itself.

Time brings about joy and sadness, filled with laughter and tears from the heavens above, a testament of human emotions.

Time is the witness of all witnesses, honest yet brutal, escaping is pure foolishness.

Time is the master of death and sorrows, emitting feelings of despair, sentencing souls to the assylum.

Only time will tell how things will work out, may God be with us.

live and let live

2011-02-17T23:29:00.000-08:00

Life is different wherever we go.

The stories, music, architecture, scenery, food, manners, you name it.

But all in all, there is always one thing they have in common - the will to live.

The will to look for a better job, the will to foster a better community, the will to communicate and connect with the outside world. The will for a better future, a better tomorrow.

Thats us. Humanity in its greatest.

Listen

2011-02-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

" Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

I'm not at home in my own home

And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind

You should have known "

-listen by beyonce knowles

I want to hold your hand

2011-02-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

"Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand

Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand "

- The Beatles

Happy Valentines my dear, you'll always be close to my heart no matter where you are.

Ich liebe dich.

chalky fantasy

2011-02-09T10:22:00.000-08:00

Its really hard to explain the feeling of being alone, the thought of the vast distance between someone you love. The feeling that nothing is right, the feeling that everything can go wrong anytime and anywhere. Its overwhelming to say the least, always hoping to see that someone when i open my eyes.

How do i solve this?

the gaping void within

2011-02-06T05:24:00.000-08:00

Ah, me, I see the ruin of my House!

The tiger now hath seiz'd the gentle hind;

Insulting tyranny brings to jet

Upon the innocent and aweless throne:-

Welcome destruction, blood and massacre!

I see, as in a map, the end of all.

William Shakespeare:

Richard III

Act II, Scene IV

reaching for the swirl lollipop

2011-02-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes looking back, you notice how much has changed and alot more that didn't. Piles of childhood memories, love letters, die-hard habits and faces of people that matters most to your heart. Sentimental.

Why? Does it ever disappear? I doubt it would, or will. Our brain is wired that way, trying to change it is against the laws of nature. They are here to stay.

Oh, I just realise I am trying to reach out for my swirl lollipop. =O

tickling feathers

2011-01-26T23:04:00.000-08:00

" Feathers filled the small room. Our laughter kept the feathers in the air. I thought about birds.

Could they fly if there wasn't someone, somewhere, laughing? "

- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

christina perri

2011-01-24T08:23:00.000-08:00

One word. AWESOME.

p.s : check out her 'jar of hearts' music video, sit back and let it blow your mind away

Glittering temptations

2011-01-23T08:46:00.000-08:00

'She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.'

waiting makes me heart confused

2011-01-22T02:29:00.000-08:00

"I am scared that the next generation will forget how to laugh"

mr zahari's take on my friend, lisa's way of laughing...

LOL.

curious world

2011-01-11T09:08:00.000-08:00

Tragedy after tragedy,

One can't tell tomorrow's destiny...

God? Oh yes. God is Almighty.

life is a four letter word

2011-01-09T01:20:00.000-08:00

what really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world.

-Albert Einstein

semestinya aku mencinta

2011-01-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

" a painting is worth a thousand words"

The Last Station

2011-01-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

Standing by the platform,

I am staring into empty tracks.

Tracks that run for miles and miles,

Miles of journey and experience that are usually ignored.

In the distance.

One light. No, two lights.

Here it is, the transporter of my journey,

My final journey.

Looking around, i see streaking images and flashing lights.

Wait, this looks familiar... Oh yes, a train ride.

Some bodies are pressing hard against me,

Don't they have any space to move away?

One, two, three, four, five, six, and i lost count of how many more stations.
Bodies that were pressing against me stream out,

New bodies comes in and press against me again.

Pathetic.

" please get down at this last station "

Okay, here i am. Finally.

I step out from the train and onto the platform,

Shadows form around me, darkness fill within me.

Somebody help?

No it is not possible, they can't hear me. Nobody does.

I am sinking lower, lower and lower.

Oh there it is, something i need to rise up again. Moving stairs.

Up is the direction i move,

Curious little technology don't you think.

Wait, i think i can see lights at the top of my little journey upwards.

The ending is near, i am finally here.

Looking around, i realise i am wrong.

So wrong that the world went silent.

This is not the ending of my journey,

This is the end of everything good and the start of everything bad in life.

This is

The Last Station.

the end of a great journey

2010-12-30T08:35:00.000-08:00

You brought me joy,

You brought me laughter,

You brought me tears,

and

You brought me something else,

You.

Happy New Year folks!!!!

Ich liebe dich =P

HO HO HO!!!!!!

2010-12-24T02:17:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!!

To all my beloved friends, family, and of course

my dearest baby there. =)

Godbless...

Kate Voegele

2010-12-22T02:30:00.000-08:00

she looks and sounds like an angel,

gosh I am in love!!! =)

If I lay here...

2010-12-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

We don't need anything, or anyone.

I need you to...

2010-12-11T07:52:00.000-08:00

give me moral support
tell me everything will be okay
remind me not to give up
push me on before its too late
comfort me when I am on the verge of giving up
l
I need you.

...

2010-12-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

FUCK. YOU?

H E L P

2010-11-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

Too much of a good thing is bad, I'm sure you've heard of that.
Let me tell you, too much of a bad thing,
Is just HELL!!
l
l

Confusion and disorientation about life and its purpose is starting to sink in right now, it might not seem as something serious but its really affecting my life and studies quite a bit. I am doing things that i never thought I would've done, and regretting it everytime after that.

What is going on?? I have no idea. I am still trying to find out why, when and what causes all this. AND hopefully i'll find out soon, because time is running out for me here.

God bless me.

A new revolution

2010-11-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

Neo Gothic Revival, is there a possibility?

cravings

2010-10-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

of GREEN MANGO and BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

but i know we crave for each other the most

tears of life

2010-10-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

Sitting alone at home tonight, the midnight silence surrounds and embrace me from within. As the dreadful and sad feeling spreads, emotions that is being suppressed for so long just poured out like terminal cancer

Thinking back how life is lately, i can't help but notice just how monotonous it became. The gaping difference with the past and my inability to control my feelings is overwhelming. Questions about life and God, about life's destiny and my path into the unknown occupied my mind every night

Will it ever be the same?

I'd like to believe it will. I'd love to believe that it is alright to believe in God. To believe in His plans, in His destiny, in His arrangment and sequence of events in life. But the devil in my heart is screaming for me to be doubtful

Just so i won't get hurt again

Hhmmmphh

I am tired. I am just so tired of everything, wish i can just take my mind off from everything for once

GOD SAVE ME

me

2010-10-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

This is me

just for you

2010-10-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

Your love keeps me strong

I am proud to have you in my life

Ich liebe dich

24

2010-10-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

thats all i am asking for. . .

To be or not to be

2010-10-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

LIFE is a journey, a journey that is both exciting and intimidating. Life is good when things worked your way, but life is just such a pain in the ass when everything seems to go against your heart's wishes.
Life is a journey, a journey where decisions are made. Hard ones too.
One of them is self dignity. Upholding it might just be the hardest thing you'll face in life.

Oh boy, can i just take a break from life for a day?

confused

2010-10-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

They say you should express your feelings,

They say there shouldn't be secrets between you and your loved ones,

They say everything will be alright in the end,

But is any of that true???

silence

2010-09-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

they all say its the cruel words and actions that hurts you most

but

its the silence that follows

that strikes the deepest core of emptiness. Think

Alles gute zum geburtstag

2010-09-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY

Godbless, love you always hunny...

speechless

2010-09-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

Speechless. When i know you are lying and you keep on denying it.

Speechless. When you say something so hurtful it felt like being shot.

Speechless. When you pretend i don't exist in this world at all.

Speechless. When i see a little boy shouting the oh-so-bad four letter word.

Speechless. When i am reminded of design.

Speechless. When it rains non stop for 3 nights.

Speechless. When i receive RM20 duit raya from my dad's friend whom i don't even know.

Speechless. When i know there is someone thinking about me far far away.

Speechless. When i realise that i am actually speechless here =O

when your dream is to fly

2010-09-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

" When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return. "

-Leonardo Da Vinci

Its never easy

2010-09-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

They always say life is like a stroll down the park, with flowers and shades along the way. BUT the real truth is that life is like fighting through a war torn minefield. Nothing is within sight, nothing is within grasp, and bear in mind that nobody is there to assist you till the end.

We are alone in this.

When you are born, parents and teachers will be there to provide you the crutches you need to wade through the first few phases in life, but as you grow those crutches are removed. You are free to venture into a blood thirsty and soul sucking world of adults. Politics, money, position, reputation, dignity, and love.

Hmm. . .time to have a more positive perspective in life i guess =)

At least I have you to go through this together now...

Ich liebe dich. . .

2010-08-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

You make me smile, even when my world is collapsing around me.

You make me look forward to chat with you every night, no matter how tired i am.

You make me appreciate even the smallest details in life, although life itself is chaotic.

and

You show me the true meaning of love, even when we are thousands of miles apart.

Thanx for giving love a chance, ich liebe dich hunny!!

Love, spice and everything nice!!!

2010-08-16T06:35:00.000-07:00

At last!!! haha the long wait for classes to start is finally over.. Back to ALFA's new campus today, wuz kinda impressed with what i saw there =) Haha just makes me wanna start my 1st class tomorrow..

Oh wells, glad meeting up with 2 of my crazy weezy best friends!!! Haha you made my day =) And everything just fuels my desire to strive towards a better future ahead, haha roaring for design now!!! =P

" Give a man wisedom, and he will Be Yet Wiser "

an empty void

2010-08-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

Living has never been so hard without you, time seems to fly when you are here.

Distance won't set us apart, because i really wish you are here with me.

I miss you. .

You lost me

2010-08-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

I am done, smoking gun

We've lost it all, the love is gone

She has won, now it's no fun

We've lost it all, the love is gone

And we had magic

And this is tragic

You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected

And somehow you left me neglected

We've found our lives been changed

Babe, you lost me

And we tried, oh how we cried

We lost ourselves, the love has died

And though we tried you can't deny

We're left as shells, we lost the fight

And we had magic

And this is tragic

You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected

And somehow you left me neglected

We've found our lives been changed

Babe, you lost me

Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet

But you chose lust when you deceived me

And you'll regret it, but it's too late

How can I ever trust you again?

I feel like our world's been infected

And somehow you left me neglected

We've found our lives been changed

Babe, you lost me

A day in life, is a day in paradise

2010-07-26T01:28:00.000-07:00

A day in life, is a day in paradise

every breathe we take, is a breathe of life

every step we take, is a step to eventuality

Life is full of miracles

unexpected miracles that filled our lives with surprises

God is watching

Every grain of sand in the desert

is a shimmer of hope in our hearts ;

Every passing soul in the streets

is a piece of reality in our conscious

And so they say...

a day in life, is a day in paradise

just wanna say....

2010-07-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

I love SNOW PATROL - CHASING CARS!

A tribute to that eternal love of ours

2010-06-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

Love recognises no time,

Love recognises no place,

Love recognises nobody,

but....

I'll recognise and remember you

anytime

anywhere

anyhow

You'll be in my heart forever....

love you chubbycheeks

my sayang's special day

2010-06-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYANG!!!!!!

May God Bless You, Us and Our Love Together. Love You Forever Baby.

my baby-licious chubbycheeks

2010-06-07T02:32:00.000-07:00

Our Love
is indeed yummy-licious..

love you my baby...

I can't smile without you

2010-05-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

Chairs creaking, a radio blaring somewhere above me.

A bright red Ferrari thundered past, sending flocks of birds into the evening sky.

" hmphh...i think i better get going before it gets dark "

Me, walking towards the beach as slowly as a dead snail. Burdened by age, weakened by misery.

I lean myself against the railing, staring straight into the vast ocean beneath more intensely than I usually do.

" how I wish you are here, we've been through so much. Here's some flowers i brought along, its your favourite... " sobs " ...its been 5 years since you are taken, how i wish you are here to witness our sunset again. "

...and i realise i can't smile without you

bumming and dreaming

2010-05-03T04:10:00.000-07:00

Its the holidays!!!!!

I wanna watch movie and hang out with you,

you know, Y O U!!!!

yes sayang you lah...hehe..

re-THINK

2010-04-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

Humans only do what they think is right.

Life is not just about us,
its about the future of our universe.

peace.

lollipopiness

2010-03-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

LIFE is like a LOLLIPOP!!!

sweet & simple

sheep obsession

2010-03-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

All hail Shaun the Sheep!!!

fluffy indeed...

life's moments

2010-03-10T01:15:00.000-08:00

Life is my beat.

status report

2010-03-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

Heartbeat rate: 210
Anxiety rate: 10/10
Sadness rate: 10/10
teardrops rate: infinite

a little trigger

2010-02-19T00:32:00.000-08:00

The day you were born is the last day you are free. Sounds familiar?

Its one of those taglines from ads...but looking back to it, its so darn true.

Well lets rewind back to those good old days we spent in a place called womb. Its warm, its chushy, food is trickling down all the time(dats wat makes us fat n plump), we get to do some kickboxing(nt sure bout u but my mum sure complained bout dat to me). Its a great place to be,but thats all about it. Its a sac, and you are trapped in it.

Things start to change when u came charging out into this so called "...they live happily ever after..." world. You start crying, feeding, sleeping, feeding(again), crawling, walking and talking. And when you grow up, God knows what you do everyday!! *wink wink* You are FREE!!!! Free to do everything in life, free to do what is humanly capable(even flying!!)

BUT...yea it always ends with a but...LIFE IS JUST NOT PERFECT. Its a fact, you see murders everyday, your friend just broke up with her boyfriend, your dog passed away, you failed your exams, etc... People cry and people complain. We never really learned from our mistakes, we repeat them in a different way and CONVINCE ourselves and everyone that we LEARNED from our mistakes when we are really just digging a different grave to lie in.

Breaking out of the box is what we should do, living life like everyone else is not going to help. The urge to be special and to stand out is always in us!! That is something to be unleashed. If everyone thinks this way, life will be full of unexpected surprises and joy. You never know, your mum might actually be great in playing drums and worshipped heavy metal!!!

Think. Live life borderless.

its our time. its our love

2010-02-11T17:04:00.000-08:00

Love.

Love can be a moment together in this world,a moment where you entertain others.
Love could be as simple as picking up the garbage.
Love is giving your cat or dog a nice pat in the morning.
Love is the time you spend baking cookies for everyone.

Love is also something intimate.
Love is the tears you shed for someone yesterday.
Love can be a kiss.
Love, could be you.

Its another year, its another valentines, but its stil the same 'o love we have here my dear...
Hereby wishing you Happy Valentines!!!

Love you sayang...